Can a woman please tell me...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by J_iceman, Aug 4, 2005.

  1. J_iceman

    J_iceman Grand KING Master Iceman

    Messages:
    1,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Can someone one please tell me why woman act how they do??%!$#&!^%

    let me explain....there is this girl who i like so much, I'd do anything even lost my job because of her. Let's just call her heather. She knows i love her not only because of her looks because of her personality....it's just like mine!! Well we've been going out and i guess we didn't "click" enough for her to be my woman, BUT!!!!$&!^$6 when I'm with a DIFFERENT woman, Let's call her Clare. Heather gets jealous, as if i SHOULDN'T be with her. I asked another friends of mine, lets call her Jan. and she admits that she does the same. I said" if you love him, and you want to be with him and you don't want anyone else to be with him....why not TAKE him as you man.....the man loves you, BUT YOU DONT WANT TO BE WITH HIM WWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY. this is so frustrating, do you think i still have a chance with girl number one, Heather??

    PS guess what, i just figured out that Heather had a relationship for a bout a month now, and that she JUST broke up with him because i found out about it...just a coincidence....i think not
  2. Luiza*Cunha

    Luiza*Cunha Charmed Trainee with Goa'uld inside! Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    4,476
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    38
    First of all, my child, know that women are unbelievably complex creatures... and that's something you must accept and live with, I'm sorry.
    It seems to me your Heather is a little bit too immature, Ice. See, when I was a teenager I remember I had some boyfriends I didn't really care about but I had a hard time letting them go because I didn't like the thought of another girl "using" what was "mine"! Shame on me... It was never about love. :exasper:
    You might have a chance with the girl though... that is, if she immature enough. :p Just make her believe you don't care about her anymore... it might shake her enough to make her come running to you to try to win your love back again... long shot but sometimes it does work. :smart:
  3. jeaniesing

    jeaniesing Super Moderator Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    38
    I'm with Luiza on the complex part.... and I can add that if a guy liked me too much it was an instant turnoff. My college roomies used to joke "Uhoh, he's starting to worship you." I know it sounds horrible - but immature women wanna feel like they've (we've) won you from someone else by our womanly wiles - NOT that you're a given, and that Mr. Safety (you) will still be waiting after we have our little flings with Mr. Dangerous and Mr. Exciting

    Luiza's right... its a long shot... but give her the chance to "win" you.... practice the "feeling guilty" act now for when you 'cheat' on ~let's call her Matilda~ with Heather :laugh: ... Luiza and I will be glad to coach you :smart:
  4. J_iceman

    J_iceman Grand KING Master Iceman

    Messages:
    1,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    yeah i already have another one that wants to go out with me, but I'm scarred i might brake heathers feelings, should i stay single all my life?? Is there a way to DO something so i can be back in the "same ballpark" it feels like she has the winning advantage, i tried to play that "hard to get" game and when she gets mad that i didn't call her or text her, i am ending up feeling bad and buying her some expensive flowers (she doesn't like roses, pretty much only sun flowers. And one is not enough, i got to buy a dozen, and they don't come cheap....specially that i am officially unemployed


    is there any other attitudes that i should be aware of??
  5. Luiza*Cunha

    Luiza*Cunha Charmed Trainee with Goa'uld inside! Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    4,476
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    38
    :gee:
    If that's the situation then you asked a good question! Do you wish to stay single all your life? I guess you don't so I think you should go on with you life as if Heather did not exist. Don't feel bad or guilty for trying to be happy. From what you've told us so far, I don't think you owe her anything. You even lost your job because of her! :eek:

    And if you still worry about hurting her feelings, just be honest with her about your plans. Tell her that, since she doesn't want you, you are going to date another person. If she says she's OK with that then there is nothing for you to worry about, right? She will have to get used to seeing you with another person.

    Do not waste your life waiting for someone who doesn't value your love and care. It may seem hard but I promise you will get over it. And then, one day, when you least expect it, you will find your other half. ;)
  6. jeaniesing

    jeaniesing Super Moderator Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    38
    My sis is so full of wisdom... :love:

    I suspect Heather has a master plan, Guys call this "sowing their oats" before settling back with the "right girl"... I used to call it the "back burner boy" meaning that many gals kept a guy on the back burner (of the stove) in case the one on the front burner wasn't ready in time for dinner...

    You wanna settle for that??!?? I don't think its wise Ice... 'cause likely the next time Mr. D or Mr. E (see above) comes along she'll stray knowing you're there... then come back teary and apologetic calling you Mr. Right instead of Mr. Safety...

    Level with her... give her the chance if you can't help but do otherwise... then set a personal time limit... DON'T TELL HER! Like... "2 years from now I'll re-evaluate."

    And you can only worry about Heather's feelings as much as she worries about yours... No sense in getting tied up in being the perfect gentleman when she's not being a perfect lady....

    Take a sec to count how many potentially great gals you've passed on who can give you a healthy relationship......
  7. Luiza*Cunha

    Luiza*Cunha Charmed Trainee with Goa'uld inside! Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    4,476
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Pay attention to what Jeanie is saying, Ice. She's absolutely correct!
  8. J_iceman

    J_iceman Grand KING Master Iceman

    Messages:
    1,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    at least a bout a dozen or dozen and a half, that could of been a relationship or more, but for some reason i don't think all of those "potentials" would of been as good...or is it just me?? i don't know i think if i wait till all of her "flings" are gone, it might be to late or feel weird going out with her knowing I'm just "backup"? Is there a way to get her of my mind?? Or is it just better to ask her to marry me?? take it or leave it, that's what I'm saying, what are my options?? I actually have this letter that i wrote when i was drinking a tad bit and stood up till about 4 in the morning to write, its about 3 pages long, talks about how i feel and i guess what ever she plans to do in her life, that i am 100 percent behind her all the way.... you think i should give it to her?? most of my friends said no....

    by the way thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and advise... tell some of YOUR experience as well so WE or all of us can relate to it!!
  9. jeaniesing

    jeaniesing Super Moderator Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    38
    its just you ;) you didn't give any of them a chance... truly? You say heather's personality is the same as yours? The relationships I most admire have complementary personalities

    I say no to the letter.... goes back to her needing to chase you before its right.... and I say no to marrying her, but thats just a gut feeling - she's not ready...

    I was watching some newsy show... the story was about a dude who started collecting the little notes people discard... one of the ones they showed broke my heart, it had a big heart taking up a large portion of the page labeled "her love" (it was a girl's name, I don;t remember) and a tiny heart in the corner of the page labeled "my love".... if it hurt that guy being on the short end, how must the girl feel... don't put yourself there... you have too much love to give some deserving girl... I'm envious of that future 'her' already ;)
  10. Luiza*Cunha

    Luiza*Cunha Charmed Trainee with Goa'uld inside! Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    4,476
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Jeanie got it right again! ;)

    As for getting over her, the best thing you can do is keep yourself busy. I have a few suggestions here:
    • Exercise daily, if possible... the endorphins will make you feel better.
    • Go out on dates or with your friends on your free time.
    • Watch some funny movies to distract yourself.
    • Take a trip somewhere nice, if you can... a change of scenery might help too.
    • Try to develop some new interest... take up yoga or learn a new language, for instance.
    • Allow yourself to make new friends.
    • And last but not least, accept the fact that she is not the right woman for you.

    I really hope these ideas help you. The truth is YOU are the only one who can help yourself out of this situation.
  11. jeaniesing

    jeaniesing Super Moderator Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    38
    But... we'll be your support group if you'd like :kiss:
  12. J_iceman

    J_iceman Grand KING Master Iceman

    Messages:
    1,028
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    hey long time no here guys!!! let me tell you guys what just happened! just last night me and heather stayed up all night. We watched too fast too furious and then lilo and stich 2. when we were done watchin she tells me she's too tired to sleep. She was in the couch and i was in the floor... i got up to go to the bathroom and when i got back she said it was too hot and that she wanted to sleep in the floor. I wanted to be in the floor also but there was no room for me... was i suppose to ask her to move aside or what?? i think i blew it again!!! She also told be she was bored.. it was about 4 in the morning already. we had several drinks and I wasn't thinkin right and i just told her to go to sleep already

    Jan, my other friend just broke up with her boyfriend, caught him red handed cheating on her.... but the thing is she tells me she can't live without him..she has been cryin for about 3 days already, i told her to go out to the clubs for some fun with her friends and she had her 17,000 dollar car impounded, took us about 3 days and 750 bucks to get her licence and car back, and NOW she got a letter sayin that her drivers licence will be suspended by the 30th of september because she didnt pay some old tickets...she's freakin out, we also went out to get some drinks and she dropped her phone... pda 750 sprint, and i checked the internet and the cheapest one is about 600 bucks, her daughter also left back to her dad 2 days ago, yeah life for her is pretty crappy i've tryed to be there for her but she STILL has her heart on her ex.... how should i show her im better and that i CAN take care of her??

    by the way heather hasnt talked to me swo im sleepin over jans house for a while since she doesn't have a man to protect her now.... i'm startin to lover her now...DAM IT

Share This Page