I need criticism

Discussion in 'Original Music' started by Qam, Jan 5, 2004.

  1. Qam

    Qam New Member

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I'm writing a guitar song for a school project I'm doing and I need criticism on it please, any at all would be helpfull, the final song will feature actual instruments.

    Attached Files:

  2. ZelRiptha

    ZelRiptha Thnow White but I drifted Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    7,535
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I may have some time tomorrow, I'll be glad to take a look.
  3. ZelRiptha

    ZelRiptha Thnow White but I drifted Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    7,535
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Okay, here are some thoughts about Child:

    I like the general tone of the piece. The harmonic progression grows a bit tiring even with the nice instrumental variations - have you thought of a contrasting section? (I know the same might be said of Pachelbel's Canon or any other passacaglia-like song - it's just a thought.)

    As far as the performance itself, you might try putting a strumming effect in the long broken chords - they hit kind of hard now. Since it's a guitar piece after all, I think it will sound better without all those simultaneous attacks.

    Is the instrumentation fixed? Would it possible to add perhaps a melodic instrument on top like a flute, recorder, saxophone, or maybe even a solo-type guitar part? Maybe even a synth pad if that would suit the performance?

    The ending is a bit abrupt. Even if that's the desired effect, you might consider a slight decrescendo before the final bar, or a fall at the end of the final note. Something so that the death of the sound is more final.

    Hope this helps.

    ZR
  4. ZelRiptha

    ZelRiptha Thnow White but I drifted Staff Member Super Mod

    Messages:
    7,535
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I meant to say I really like the close harmony between the distortion guitars in the middle of the piece - a nice effect.
  5. dario-zg

    dario-zg New Member

    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    i really don' have such a complicated critics-something is missing there-you still need to work on it
  6. dodgerphan

    dodgerphan New Member

    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    i don't think it's that bad at all
  7. Moshpit

    Moshpit New Member

    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I think it's actually pretty good
  8. -=kc.2003=-

    -=kc.2003=- New Member

    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    hmmm... nice but i swear i heard it before sumwer
  9. maruchan

    maruchan New Member

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    its okay i guess
  10. djnaff

    djnaff New Member

    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    bit pants if you ask me
  11. johnrowley

    johnrowley Member

    Messages:
    884
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    It is quite a good piece, but tends to repeat a bit with the harmonic progression. Needs a solo guitar over the top and a change of section to a minor part and a change of pace. Nice change of instruments though.
  12. grayb47

    grayb47 New Member

    Messages:
    284
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I also like the harmony in the lead. and I agree that a flute would spice it up some. You need a chorus to break the monotony.I would suggest foing into an Am Em progression for a chorus, assuming you are playing in D as it sounded. You can come out of the chorus by going to G from either Am or Em and pause

Share This Page