I'm such a stand up guy

Discussion in 'rec.music.percussion' started by Bill Ray, Aug 22, 2003.

  1. Bill Ray

    Bill Ray Guest

    Hello shriners,
    I want to make sure that everyone here has gone out to rent a copy of
    "What's Love Got To Do With It." For those who don't know the movie,
    it is about Tina Turner and how her low life ex husband, Ike Turner,
    used to beat her, have kids out of wedlock, do drugs and commit
    various other felonies. Now I am a Christian guy who kisses all asses.
    I found no problem taking money from this low life because it was a
    bigger name gig than the sad taco joints I normally play at in San
    Diego. You know, I want to be a drum star more than anything. To get
    more endorsements, I even have offered the then virgin ass of my young
    son, just to get drum heads. Evans still would not give me a 50% off
    deal. I thought I was now such a big shot that I told Brian Spaun to
    shove it. Yamaha laughed at me, so I had to work fast to get a back
    up. Poor Ray Ayotte is really hurting, so he gave me a deal, but low
    and behold, old Ike canned me for bad time, no groove and trying to
    force my silly linear drumming into his old shuffles. Now I am a big
    deal Taye endorser who plays at Sea World. I am also willing to give
    lessons to all you shriners seeing that I am a big wig drummer. I only
    will charge you $100 per hour. I teach the following,

    How to go to NAMM with your press package and brown nose everyone for
    an endorsement.
    How to rail on and on about Spock's Beard and Steve Smith, yet never
    have a real gig myself.
    How to make fun of drummers who care about playing music vs being a
    drum star.
    How to be a a dumb ass kid from the south who tried to kill himself by
    taking too many Vicoden.
    How to pull your own braces out of your own mouth after your white
    trash parents had to take out a second to pay for them.
    How to try to kill your self with an OD of pain pills.

    If you want to be a drum star, send me your money and I will learn you
    all just how to be like me, Bill Ray, Sea World Drummers.
  2. Sean Conolly

    Sean Conolly Guest

    Somebody's meds ran out early this month.
  3. On Fri, 22 Aug 2003 00:28:08 -0700, Bill Ray wrote:

    > Hello shriners,



    I love how the email addy is listed billraythepussy. Someone here is a
    pussy, I'll tell you that...and it ain't Bill Ray...

    --

    peace,

    Rog

    http://www.slammingrooves.com

    "ooh big comeback from the non fan AKA little drummer boy"

    theRob in alt.sports.hockey.nhl.nj-devils
  4. Sean Conolly

    Sean Conolly Guest

    "Roger Sherman" <coolgrooves@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    news:pan.2003.08.22.22.53.21.165041@hotmail.com...
    > On Fri, 22 Aug 2003 00:28:08 -0700, Bill Ray wrote:
    >
    > > Hello shriners,

    >
    >
    > I love how the email addy is listed billraythepussy. Someone here is a
    > pussy, I'll tell you that...and it ain't Bill Ray...


    Yeah, I think someone's meds have run out early this month. I can't imagine
    who, but it would be such a disappointment if it turned out to be yet
    another brilliant but disturbed jazz artist.

    Sean
  5. creux

    creux Guest

    someone is in serious need of some hot chili porn...
    i wonder if you can get it from the menu of some chinise fortune cookie
    restaurants...

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