new song i wrote - i want some feedback

Discussion in 'Original Music' started by shmoses, Jan 6, 2004.

  1. shmoses

    shmoses New Member

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    i like this song a lot, i think it has potential.

    Attached Files:

  2. Qam

    Qam New Member

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    awesome

    This peice really makes me think about wandering around in a forest or something. its very melodic. great job. it sounds like something coldplay would write. I have 2 peices that I wrote, "child" and "confusion" it would be cool if you listened to those and tell me what you think. thanks.
  3. shmoses

    shmoses New Member

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    thanks dude. that coldplay comment is very encouraging, because i was listening to quite a bit of coldplay at the time i wrote this, especially the scientist.
  4. dario-zg

    dario-zg New Member

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    i really like it - seems like you put alot into making it
  5. shmoses

    shmoses New Member

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    yeah, quite a bit. all the musical ideas i've ever tried to express are condensed into this song.
  6. ZelRiptha

    ZelRiptha Thnow White but I drifted Staff Member Super Mod

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    I listened and liked it a lot. For more detailed commentary, I'd have to listen again with a more critical ear. Interesting progression, though! :)
  7. shmoses

    shmoses New Member

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    the progression is I-VI-VI(min)-V. i enjoy blurring the lines between major and minor tonalities. it's good ****.
  8. lebanese_eye

    lebanese_eye New Member

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  9. G-man

    G-man Prodigal Philanthropist

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    That progression is interesting... not bad! :thumbsup:
    I'll listen to it some more later on... maybe provide you with some more feedback then
  10. daniellej277

    daniellej277 New Member

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    IF YOU LOVED ME (solo)

    you said youd never leave me and youd always be with me

    look at you now now where are you now that youve come back in

    my life you expect me not to cry when you say i love you if you

    loved me then why did you leave me if you loved me why didnt

    you call to let me know you werent coming home to me when i

    was all alone if you loved me why did you break my heart and

    leave me with this pain after all this time i feel its a crime to my

    heart because i still love you i just think if you loved me you

    would have done these things

    (soloist&chorous)

    if you loved me you would have been there when i needed you if

    you loved me you would have cried with me if you loved me you

    would have shown it baby i cant go back to you cause i dont

    wanna hurt like that no more sorry i cant love you no more

    (solo)

    if you love me leave and never return

    ..... heres another song i wrote enjoy.....
  11. msher

    msher New Member

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    i reaaly liked it too...i'm still struggling to make anything decent, but you did an excellent job!
  12. NyN

    NyN New Member

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    I like it a lot.... my compliments!
  13. CyberCat

    CyberCat Active Member

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    Like it alot, you used an intersting prossive feel in it. Sounds like you like what you do!
  14. howdydoody

    howdydoody New Member

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  15. amgomez

    amgomez New Member

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    ur song

    beautiful. if you found someone to add classic guitar to be used against the melody instead of keyboard i think it would kick toosh cause it would show way different contrast!
  16. shmoses

    shmoses New Member

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    that's an interesting possibility, man. i actually intend to do this song with a band some day, and it would be really hard to do live, without a piano player, so i've actually got an alternate 'live' version somewhere, with guitar replacing piano. i'm a big fan of the way the song ends with the layering, then the fadeout.
  17. Kereokacola

    Kereokacola New Member

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    Interesting... I like it! I wish I could make MIDI's. If I could, I probably wouldn't have a social life... Lol.
  18. LizardDC

    LizardDC New Member

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    I would love to listen to it... but this forum denies the download :thumbsup:


    hehe... darn... I have to get some more cash

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