OT: So you're gonna be on "Cribs"?

Discussion in 'rec.music.guitar' started by Odin, Aug 23, 2003.

  1. Odin

    Odin Guest

    We've got a few pointers to make your CRIBS taping the best it can be!
    (by CKOne)

    1. You don't eat, sleep or have sex, you "Get your eat/sleep/fuck on."

    2. Whenever possible, end sentences with "at". Ex: "Dis where I make my
    babies at."

    3. It's not a "room". It's an "area". Ex: "Dis here the pool area." or
    "Here go the kitchen area."

    4. Cars & Trucks = Rides. Never call your ride a car.

    5. 20's aren't denominations of currency, they are the rims on your ride.
    They must be blinged out. (See #6)

    6. Things are not shiny. They are blinged out.

    7. Your ride needs at least one Playstation and DVD player integrated into
    a seat back, visor, dashboard or all of the above.

    8. They are not friends. They are dawgz.

    9. On the day of taping, you must have a minimum of 8 to 10 dawgz kickin'
    it in your pool, studio and theater areas.

    10. One does not relax. One cheelz.

    11. When you are kickin it, you are not playing soccer or angry at the dog,
    you are having a few friends over for drinks.

    12. Consider trading a Lexy for a pit bull, Rottweiler or other menacing
    dog.

    13. Tattoos are a must. When choosing a tattoo, they must evoke memories of
    someone you haven't seen in a great while like a dawg you lost or one of
    your children.

    14. Remember, the only woman worthy of respect is your "Moms". All other
    women are hoochies and hos.

    15. Build a sunken platinum basketball jersey humidor area.

    16. During taping, try not to shoot any white chauffeurs. If you happen to
    shoot a white chauffeur, try to make your visitors accessories after the
    fact.

    17. The proper "Crib Touring Stance" is to hold your right fist in your
    left hand and place both over your sternum. Hold your lips inside your
    mouth to evoke a placid demeanor.

    18. You may own any or all existing video game systems other than a
    Nintendo, which is for beeyotches and kids. However, you may only own NFL
    or NBA themed video games. (No one has ever said "This is where I get my
    flight simulation on.")

    19. If possible, breed or buy a chrome Rottweiler.

    20. Fish tanks may only house piranhas or sharks (a.k.a. "The Rottweiler
    and Domerman of the Sea")

    21. Remove all books, computers and cats from the residence prior to
    taping. (No one has ever said "This is where I get my read on." or "Dis
    where my cat gets it's poop on.")

    22. Self portraits aren't only for corporate executives and historical
    figures! Remember, the bigger the portrait, the more respect it commands!

    23. Two words: Black Lacquer

    24. Keep the table in the formal dining area set at all times with gold,
    chrome and/or diamond flatware.

    25. Make sure you have at least two large rooms/automobiles that "You ain't
    even go in/drove ever."

    26. Bet on everything with your dawgz. Always win.

    27. A pile of credit cards is not impressive. CASH ONLY!

    28. When the MTV crew is leaving, be as rude as possible. Ex: "Now you've
    seen the crib, you best get to steppin."

    29. Most importantly, do not get too attached to any of this. You will not
    have it in five years.
  2. Atlas

    Atlas Guest

    x-no-archive: yes

    On Sat, 23 Aug 2003 06:32:34 GMT, "Odin" <res0jmoj@REMOVEverizon.net>
    wrote:

    >We've got a few pointers to make your CRIBS taping the best it can be!
    >(by CKOne)


    What are "cribs"?


    Atlas
  3. voice of god

    voice of god Prodigal Pyjamas Pervert Staff Member Super Mod

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    Re: Re: OT: So you're gonna be on "Cribs"?

    that'd be where your house area is at
  4. ryanm

    ryanm Guest

    "voice of god" <voice.of.god.spdqo@spamfree.net> wrote in message
    news:voice.of.god.spdqo@spamfree.net...
    >
    > that'd be where your house area is at
    >

    Where your house area *be* at, get it right...

    ryanm
  5. Ed

    Ed Guest

    "Atlas" <c1sublux@hotmail.comNOSPAM> wrote in message
    news:kufikv0moppg3kaf0a2rnhsjvqpqi4iitu@4ax.com...
    > x-no-archive: yes
    >
    > On Sat, 23 Aug 2003 06:32:34 GMT, "Odin" <res0jmoj@REMOVEverizon.net>
    > wrote:
    >
    > >We've got a few pointers to make your CRIBS taping the best it can be!
    > >(by CKOne)

    >
    > What are "cribs"?


    I just saw one of those shows. Some circle jerk walked around his house
    showing off his tacky home theatre room, showed the camera all the junk food
    he keeps in his refrigerator, showed us his tacky bathroom (it had a bloody
    pillow and candles around it furchrissakes!), his various pieces of "art"
    and his music room where he has a drum set that he can't play.

    In short, "cribs" is an MTV show that features the tacky homes of the newly
    made millionaires. I had always thought that those rap videos were meant to
    be a spoof on Elvis's lifestyle. Hell, I had no idea those guys in their
    ridiculous clothes, makeup and jewelry are serious.
  6. Tom Yost

    Tom Yost Guest

    On Sat, 23 Aug 2003 06:32:34 GMT, "Odin" <res0jmoj@REMOVEverizon.net>
    wrote:

    >We've got a few pointers to make your CRIBS taping the best it can be!
    >(by CKOne)
    >
    >1. You don't eat, sleep or have sex, you "Get your eat/sleep/fuck on."
    >
    >2. Whenever possible, end sentences with "at". Ex: "Dis where I make my
    >babies at."
    >
    >3. It's not a "room". It's an "area". Ex: "Dis here the pool area." or
    >"Here go the kitchen area."
    >
    >4. Cars & Trucks = Rides. Never call your ride a car.
    >
    >5. 20's aren't denominations of currency, they are the rims on your ride.
    >They must be blinged out. (See #6)
    >
    >6. Things are not shiny. They are blinged out.
    >
    >7. Your ride needs at least one Playstation and DVD player integrated into
    >a seat back, visor, dashboard or all of the above.
    >
    >8. They are not friends. They are dawgz.
    >
    >9. On the day of taping, you must have a minimum of 8 to 10 dawgz kickin'
    >it in your pool, studio and theater areas.
    >
    >10. One does not relax. One cheelz.
    >
    >11. When you are kickin it, you are not playing soccer or angry at the dog,
    >you are having a few friends over for drinks.
    >
    >12. Consider trading a Lexy for a pit bull, Rottweiler or other menacing
    >dog.
    >
    >13. Tattoos are a must. When choosing a tattoo, they must evoke memories of
    >someone you haven't seen in a great while like a dawg you lost or one of
    >your children.
    >
    >14. Remember, the only woman worthy of respect is your "Moms". All other
    >women are hoochies and hos.
    >
    >15. Build a sunken platinum basketball jersey humidor area.
    >
    >16. During taping, try not to shoot any white chauffeurs. If you happen to
    >shoot a white chauffeur, try to make your visitors accessories after the
    >fact.
    >
    >17. The proper "Crib Touring Stance" is to hold your right fist in your
    >left hand and place both over your sternum. Hold your lips inside your
    >mouth to evoke a placid demeanor.
    >
    >18. You may own any or all existing video game systems other than a
    >Nintendo, which is for beeyotches and kids. However, you may only own NFL
    >or NBA themed video games. (No one has ever said "This is where I get my
    >flight simulation on.")
    >
    >19. If possible, breed or buy a chrome Rottweiler.
    >
    >20. Fish tanks may only house piranhas or sharks (a.k.a. "The Rottweiler
    >and Domerman of the Sea")
    >
    >21. Remove all books, computers and cats from the residence prior to
    >taping. (No one has ever said "This is where I get my read on." or "Dis
    >where my cat gets it's poop on.")
    >
    >22. Self portraits aren't only for corporate executives and historical
    >figures! Remember, the bigger the portrait, the more respect it commands!
    >
    >23. Two words: Black Lacquer
    >
    >24. Keep the table in the formal dining area set at all times with gold,
    >chrome and/or diamond flatware.
    >
    >25. Make sure you have at least two large rooms/automobiles that "You ain't
    >even go in/drove ever."
    >
    >26. Bet on everything with your dawgz. Always win.
    >
    >27. A pile of credit cards is not impressive. CASH ONLY!
    >
    >28. When the MTV crew is leaving, be as rude as possible. Ex: "Now you've
    >seen the crib, you best get to steppin."
    >
    >29. Most importantly, do not get too attached to any of this. You will not
    >have it in five years.
    >



    Jerry Cantrell's crib was the best. His place was the polar opposite
    from the typical MTV crib. Your basic dumpy Texas ranch house with
    Grandma and Grandpa hanging out. So un-rock star.



    Tom

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