Should it make the cut?

Discussion in 'Original Music' started by theARTiSAN, Jul 16, 2002.

  1. KingXII

    KingXII S MOD

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    i played the song in my car while I was driving my friends and they said it was very good too.
  2. lostdave

    lostdave 'EVIL' Mod

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    The latest version...
    First verse...the vocals seem to have been lost in the mix...they don't come back out the front until the start of the chorus(at least for my ears anyeas :))

    New Bass sounds sounds much bettererer than the slap....hmmmm..wonder where you got that sound font from :?:

    I need faster broadband!!!!

    Dave
  3. ZelRiptha

    ZelRiptha Thnow White but I drifted Staff Member Super Mod

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    Ah, Dave, good point, when I was playing it for Celeste (my wife), the initial vocals were a bit muddy and harder to make out - I could hear them okay in headphones, but in open air with some ambient noise (and bigger woofers), they were harder to make out.
  4. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    Good point - I didn't notice that until I was listening to it on my (real) stereo... Via headphones and my PC soundsystem, it seemed ok...

    I'll rework that :thumbsup:
    That soundfont was perfect too Dave - thanks again!
  5. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    Fixed now - turned out to be a bit of a project :laugh:
    I couldn't take them up quite as far as I wanted to because they had a tendancy to "splatter" all over the guitar work... I had recorded this with my old mic. If it bugs me enough, I'll redo the vocals with the new one. :rolleyes:
    I brought them up as far as I could, and also tweaked the mid-high EQ a tad too.

    Sounds a little better to my ear - how about yours?

    :: covers ears with hands - rocking back and forth ::
    it's only a demo it's only a demo it's only a demo
    I will not drive my self crazy over a demo
    I will not drive my self crazy over a demo

    Why doesn't that ever work??? :laugh:
  6. jeaniesing

    jeaniesing Super Moderator Staff Member Super Mod

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    Remember that what you hear and what we hear are 2 very different things! I wanna hear a song you've done where the melody is in that falsetto range.... LOVE a good falsetto range on a guy!

    If you are truly questioning whether to include this on a CD I think I'd like to hear some of the other demos you've got! I do like the song and don't wanna get picky about the balance/sound because - as you say - its a demo.... here're my stray thoughts:

    ....intro has a nice hook (piano).... fade it in? or start it a wee bit later so the "mud" is more established? (I read what you said to ZR about the dry sound)...
    ....Lyrics are sensational - maybe I'm suffering a guilty conscience ;)
    ....Like the polyphonic/syncopated vocal lines in the bridge and coda respectively - good effect of movement when the piano hook fades.... maybe I'd like to hear even more of that in the coda - even on a vocal neutral sound
    .... shout section after bridge without an offbeat.... must listen to that again... does movement stall? Maybe more earnest vocals will keep the pace up... or heavier drums?
    ....not sold on that au capella last note - ambient perc like a cymbal roll that lingers maybe? or section slightly longer? Just when Ii start to grasp what's happening its done

    As always my thoughts are musical in nature and will apply to the band doing the piece, not a demo! Don't change a hair for me ;)
  7. lostdave

    lostdave 'EVIL' Mod

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    I liked the closer.....
    Had a touch of Aerosmith to it.....
    But I am a harmony junkie :D

    ave
  8. ZelRiptha

    ZelRiptha Thnow White but I drifted Staff Member Super Mod

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    Dude, you stayed up all night working on that! Doh, shoulda waited 'til today to make comments ;).

    First verse intelligible now :thumbsup:

    It's perfect now, don't touch it! ;)
  9. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    This is some excellent feedback guys - thanks a ton!
    Datz why I posted it here :thumbsup:

    Aaaaaaahhh...
    I do have a cover of Five for Fighting's 'Superman' (believe it or not) that is peppered with falsetto... If I get really brave, I'll let you listen to it - Its not really the greatest vocal work (even for ME :laugh: )

    I wanted the piano to punch right in - like a smack in the face (wake up call) sort of thing... I agree about the muddy intro.
    It's a sound that I made out of a quitar slide and harmonic that I slowed down ad did a million other things to for the effect... I wanted it to be longer, but also wanted it to slide into the timpani/orchestra 'hits'/pad rumble... If I started it sooner, it would bottom out too early. I'd redo it, but it would take a year to remember what I did to get that sound. ;)

    :rolleyes: Reeeeeeally? :laugh:

    You’re right, it does seem to stall a bit... I'm not going to change the demo, but when the studio time comes, the vocals are going to punch a little more, and the drums are going to fill it in (I hope).

    It seemed like a good end to the story - an argument with one's self. I'm like Dave in the fact that I'm a "harmony junkie". In the studio, I picture a never-ending cymbal :D
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2002
  10. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    It was true, and after I ran it through my home system, I heard it! Glad you and Dave brought it to my attention! It’s easy to rely on my little computer audio world to give accurate sound – and sometimes it doesn’t! Thanks man!
    :: collapses from lack of sleep ::
  11. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    :: tosses Dave a Beer ::
    I’ll drink to that!
    To harmony junkies!
  12. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    I want to thank everyone again for their critique!
    I’m wanting a rounded analysis of it, and between you all of the input here - you guys are helping immensely!


    —John pointed out some equalization flaws in the 1st version and laughed at my drum track. THANKS! I’ve reEQed and resequenced a new drum track that I’m happier with.

    --Dave gave me the roots for my bass track, laughed at my selection of bass patches, slapped me for not using soundfonts (and told me where to get some) as well as post production help. All this helped get a decent sounding bass and drum track and much better master! This man is owed MUCH credit!

    —ZR offered me some great analysis and support, and pointed out the vocals volume flaw. In addition to helping me gain a wider perspective about the meaning of the song (because he forced me to try to put into words what it was about, and try to convey it) he was willing to listen while I spilled my guts ;)

    --Jeanie who offered a total top to bottom critique from the perspective of a music instructor! A contribution of incalculable value. Not only did you point out what does and doesn't work on the DEMO, you forced me to take more of a look at what I was going to do in the studio!

    As well as everyone else who posted a comment on whether (or why) you liked it (or not) – IMO your feedback has taken this thing from some dumpy little recording I was luke-warm about to something I’m actually proud of.
    Thank you all so much!
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2002
  13. KingXII

    KingXII S MOD

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    I blanked out on what you said in that long post about the composure of your song, but i understood some of it lol. BTW art are you posting posts right after another now?
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2002
  14. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    Yup King - I put all the quotes and replies together and broke it up into a few different posts. Tried to organize my replies a little :laugh:

    Was I rambling again? :damn:
    What did I blank you on about? ;)
  15. KingXII

    KingXII S MOD

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    uh lets just say a majority of it hehe
    well some of it i actually understand but some with all the musical terms i just totally blanked out on, i kinda got some from the context.
  16. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    Ooooh - it was the part about the piano and the muddy intro wasn't it... I was just explaining how I did that intro sound, and why I couldn't make the intro a little longer.

    I should mention that the version I have posted there is (knock on wood) a final demo of it. I uploaded it early in the morning on the 23rd.

    Kinda waiting for John to give it a listen and see (as a drummer-type guy) what he thinks of the new drum sequence. He didn't like the original drums either, and was instrumental in getting me to get off my ass and fix em.
  17. tavenger5

    tavenger5 Mr Admin Guy Staff Member Admin

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    Wow.. I haven't listened to that in a while. HUGE Improvement over the first one. The drums and bass really made the difference. Drums are beautiful! Exactly how I would play it (since I'm so square.. haha)

    I can tell you did a lot of work on the guitars. Especially since there's multiple tracks.

    The vocals still sound a little burried, but it's not as bad as it was. One suggestion: Pan the harmonies left or right. You'd be amazed how much this can liven things up. Since there's only one backing vocal (most of the time) contrast it with something else. Like pan the piano right (2) and the backing vocal left (10)

    Another thing. That final vocal thing is could resolve from the suspended chord a little different. (instead of going up on the top vocal go down on the bottom and then resolve to a major chord. something like that..) I wouldn't worry about it though. It sounds fine.

    King, this should really confuse you.. :laugh:
  18. KingXII

    KingXII S MOD

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    well the replies to jeanie too that was the worst lol.

    edit and what tpearl just posted uh what can i say i just don't know what the guy said lol.
  19. theARTiSAN

    theARTiSAN Administrator Staff Member Super Mod

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    Thanks John! Glad you like the new drum track ;)
    The vocals (except the break and the end) are pretty much center panned. Nothing more than I got lazy.
    When studio does eventually come, there definately will be good panning on the vocals. I agree, it makes a world of difference!
    Thanks again for the input!
  20. KingXII

    KingXII S MOD

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    BTW artisan i'm still waiting for the stamped to run me over

    :: Jeopardy theme song plays out of thin air ::

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